..there was this drizzle..

in my eyes, but yet they stared in dry stony silence watching you from across the dining table..

there was a certain discomfort that i felt as we all sat there and ate, when i thought of all that you have gone through in your life and still, what cruel cards the heavens had just dealt to you..and yet, i cannot pretend to say that i know of your life extremely well, or claim to be so closely related to you, that i was expected to feel your misery with any intensity...but nevertheless, i did and still do...

there was a bit of confusion in my head too, as i watched you sit there chatting away like it was just another day, laughing and smiling, bringing out trays and trays of food, sweets and drinks for us, just like it was another chinese new year gathering..the only thing different was you..and yes, there were so many of us there, but yet none could perform any miracle for you..

and so perhaps like everyone there, i pretended too, for, with each unspoken word in between all those chattering, your life story was being replayed for all to see..the subtleness of all your regrets, the many unfulfilled hopes and your dreams, the toughness that you so portrayed to hide all your fears and the mysterious unknowns that you will now face as you tread this remaining journey of your life alone..were all expressed in that noisy silence...your now frail movements you hid with a cheery smile..the baldness of your head, you ignored with a most gentle wave of your hand, like a magic wand..the physical pain that the chemo gave to you, you somehow did not show..but i could see it though..

so now in my heart, i can only wish you peace..the kind of calming peace that only the heavens can bestow...in my hands, i can only create a paper crane for you, with wings that will flap as you tug on its tail..and if you hold on tightly to it, rest assured, it will take you to wherever you want to go..

in my mind, i can only replay those happy memories that i have of you..your many many concerns and words of wisdom for this strangely quiet and distant nephew of yours, as i fetched you from your house to stay some weekends at grandma and grandpa's..where we all sat down to enjoy the cacophony of sounds and endless stories coming from you..

and in my spirit..i also know that you are never any less family to me despite tradition that tells us it must be so..

so be brave.. my dear aunt, be strong too for your strength will help carry your sisters and brothers through. i believe you have done enough already for your family just by being you...

..so do allow us all to celebrate this day with you, with nothing but just our love, happiness and warmth that i hope you will always keep with you..

..an important message..

..from our most horrible, oops i mean honorable minister of..nvm, i cannot remember..?? why? because it is so confusing mah..coz i come from a small small village you see..

anyway, this message pertains to our current apa-nama flu pandemic or is it H-satu N-satu..?? oh well, nvm, the gist of the message is much more important you see....






..and not only do we have to deal with this new flu thingy, we still having problems with our dengue..if only i could get RTM to air these so very very important community messages..

..so many hantus..

..had a really scary dream last night..

..seemed like all my ancestors were out having a barbeque session with me..(phew..at least they were not barbequeing me for dinner..) sitting there "entertaining" me..all i could remember was seeing my father's parents and my mother's parents and i suppose the rest were their parents and their parents' parents..wah liao eh the whole jing gang was there!! was that some sort of home-coming for me ah? damn..i'm getting a wee bit nauseated by these dreams..i woke up in the middle of the night and realised that my body was freezing cold, the comforter had uncovered me completely when i tossed and turned in fear i suppose..eh!! and i thought ghosts are usually scared of naked people one?, guess not...haha

..or maybe it's becoz when i read of mj's passing, the picture from the thriller video came to my mind all day yesterday, so much so that these fellas decided to do a real show for me in my dream last night..

should have spent more time reading about farrah's story instead..

..eh..?

..suddenly so quiet one...how can like that?

been sitting here waiting for my "customers", so far only 13 walked in and it's already 4pm. this is bad..maybe it's because it's a friday and everyone's having a long lunch break...maybe the economy is much more worse than what we have been led to believe....but..but.. i always believe every single word i read in the newspaper one...

oh dear..looks like i've got to think of more creative ways to get them to come..either that or it's time to stock up on instant noodles...haha

ouch..ouch..

..had a really bad sore throat yesterday. so bad that i had to get an antibiotic injection from a doctor..and i can still feel the pain on my butt!! ..anyway, must have been due to my excessive gym and dieting program..but i am back to normal now today woo hoo.., the throat doesn't hurt anymore..so tonite i shall do a light work-out..

or maybe it was because mr momo sneaked into my room the night before and crept under my comforter to sleep on my bed...and i caught the germs from him !! luckily i slept with my boxers on, otherwise, mr momo would be having sausage and eggs for breakfast...haha!!

ok...another silly post to get me through the day...

p/s: mr momo is my male kitty cat....

..so far..

..so good...

my little china doll is working very very nicely. no explosions or sudden deaths yet. my only gripe is the analog TV reception. i can only get clear tv reception at certain places and even when the picture was clear, i could not get a clear reception on the audio bit...

ah well, can't really complain. it's already a lot of value for the price i paid..hehe..

..my little china doll..

..aiyah, not what you are thinking leh...haha

it's this i am referring to...and the best part is..it's only RM 399.
i remember my first china made mobile phone. it was beautiful to look at but died the very next day from battery failure !! but i have tested this one and it looks and feels good. and the features are unbelievable..the only thing missing is perhaps a mini microwave oven built-in, then i can do everything with this phone..ooops, maybe not..don't want to be keeping the phone inside my pocket in case i get a case of microwaved sausage and eggs !! haha...let's hope it doesn't have added functions like nuclear waste leakage or explode unnecessarily with an in-coming call just to get my attention...hehe

• One phone four cards(2Sim,2Tflash cards)
• Dual sim cards dual standby
• Bluetooth
• Mobile TV for free
• Magic Voice ( change voice when making a call)
• Handshaking(change music by handshaking)
• Dual camera
• Thin body phone
• E-book reader
• FM radio(can output voice)
• MP4,MP3
• Language :English/French/Spanish/Portugues/Italian/Vietname/Turkish/Russian/Arabic/Persian/Thai

Features

1.2.4 inch screen, 260k QVGA ; PX: 240*320
2.500 group contacts
3.T-Flash Card Suphporting,256MB TF for free ,support to extend TF card to 2GB maximally
4.1.3Mega pixel camera for Picture & Video capability,solomobi test put out biggest size is 640*480
5. Stereo Loud speaker, 64 chord ring tone
6. MP3 & MP4 player
7. GPRS & WAP connectivity, MMS Transceiver
8. U disk support function to keep the information storage
9. Bluetooth
11.calendar,To do list,Alarm,World Clock,Spotwatch
12.caller picture,caller Ring Tone
13. Telephone directories:500groups of contacts, support incoming call with big head sticker,group ring and Messages & Multimedia messaging:SMS, support MMS; can use downloaded MP3 as SMS rings
14. Scheduled power on/off: support to start/close under set time
15. Alarm clock:5 groups, support alarm clock when machine’s closed, can set from Monday to Sunday
16. Games: 1 common game
17.More information :MP3/MP4/Handsfree/SMS group sending/Voice recorder/WAP/Keyboard input/2.4 inch screen/Bluetooth/GPRS download/MMS/Memory extended/Radio/bluetooth/calendar/alarm clock/calculator/dual sim dual standby/E-book reader/Unit converter/Currency converter...

DESIGNATION	SPECIFICATION
Network	GSM900 /1800/1900/mHz
SIZE ( L × W × H )	110*50*10.5 MM
BATTERY	Lithium Batteries 750mAh
COLOR	Black
STANDBY TIME	About 180-240 Hours
TALKING TIME	About 300m

..i wonder if i could get astro on this thing...hmmm...then i can watch david bowie sing china girl on it..hehe

pole dancing...?

....saw this huge centrepage in the star newspaper today..."athletic moves in pole position..."..."ten contestants battle it out at grand finals..."...so tempting..i should have been the eleventh contestant.

so funny...(no offense to all pole dancers out there..), it's just my brain tickling away at the sight of me doing pole dancing...the spectators (if any..) would be wondering where the pole is as i wrap myself round it..hahaha and if that is not enough to show off my prowess, they would have to use all their brawn (from the pics, i see the spectators are mostly male..that explains the popularity of this spectator sport) to help unwrap me from the metal pole at the end of it...hehehehe..but eeewwww...i can imagine the pain from the steel bar as i wrap my legs around it, maybe even hear some nut-crunching sounds with the beat of the music...ouch!!.and those viewing fellas would be crossing and squeezing their legs unconsciously to keep the gulis safe..ah..so..that's why all the contestants are only female..

ok nvm..this is just a short silly post to get this lazy saturday going and keep a naughty smile on my face for today...hehe





p/s: for the record, i'm actually not fat at all but getting even more fit lately, tall, not so dark and very handsome too..and pigs do fly..

i just realised..

...the extent of a father's or a mother's love for their child..

a worker of mine, a fella in his early twenties, a hard working fella he is. works 7 days a week (almost, i think..) coz when he gets off from my place, he goes to work at a seafood restaurant part-time..but this post is not really about him, it's about his dad..

without fail for the past 6 months since this fella started working for me, his dad would bring him his dinner, that his mom had cooked earlier, on his motorcycle and would again come fetch him at night when we close the shop. without fail.

today, after he delivered his son's dinner, he was riding his way home when he was knocked from behind by another motorcycle, not too far from my office. he fell down and hurt himself a bit. nothing serious but a few bleeding scratches on the elbows and shoulders, nothing i think that would stop him from continuing his daily task of delivering his son's dinner and also fetching him home at night.

i asked if it wasn't too much trouble for him to do this food runs everyday, and that really, his boy was old enough to get his own food. he looked at me and this is what he said.."no mister, it's his mama who insists that her son eats home-cooked food, i'm just the delivery man.."

but i knew from the way he said it, it wasn't so much mama's cooking, it was just to "hide" his love for his son..the way asian fathers and mothers stoically do...





p/s: oh dear...looks like i better appreciate my mom's meals on wheels whenever she rolls them in..but if dad should ride in with my meal suddenly, i think i better run and hide...

should i...?

..i remember posting my thoughts on emigration some time last year..

now i am in a dilemma..

just got a call from the embassy of "The Republic of Banana" asking me for payment for my PR application. so..should I proceed or just let it slip...? if i proceed, i have to move there wor..they no give PR for part-time residents wor...so how? i cant have my cake and eat it later wor...

it's tempting i know..but it's a lot of sacrifice too..like got no char koay teow, no nasi lemak, no curry mee, no orr-chien, no popiah, no hokkien mee, no goreng pisang or keropok lekor, no chicken rice, no char hor fun...but got plenty of unknowns like new people, new cities with new neighbourhoods and new neighbours, new food, new weather, new government, new friends to make, everything new new new...

so..should i stick to bolehland or move to this banana republic?..someone please tell me...

a brief conversation with...

...me and myself..

i was brushing my teeth this morning half-asleep, standing starkers and looking and admiring this sexy body of mine in the mirror when suddenly...i thought i saw a mist floating in thru my window and then..

..i heard a voice speak from behind me..(oh..oh..can't be mr momo sneaking up on me in the bathroom coz he only meows and not speak anything else that i can understand..) saying..

me: "wah liao eh..you think you look so good oredi meh?"

myself: "huh? u talking to me..? of coz lah..i've been working my arse off at the gym and starving myself bonkers..and see..it's showing..!!"

me: "hahahahaha..you must be joking...only 4 days of liquid diet and running a bit here and there in the gym, you think you oredi look like daniel wu ah?"

myself: "wei...i have lost 2 kgs and i am seeing some definitions around the middle wor..see, see (as i tighten my abs to stress the point)...and see, i am using L'Oreal men expert hydra energetic turbo booster some more..of coz i look like daniel wu !!"

me: " u ah...you just believe everything you read. you are really every advertisers' dream lah..people say good stuff only, you buy...any ad with the anti-aging word only, you quickly quickly grab oredi...boh kiu liao"

myself: "wei....dont be like that lah..why you always party pooper one, always pour cold water one me one? at least i feel good mah...never mind if true or not..."

me: "haih..if you keep doing this, i am never coming back into this body..i go pick on an 18 year old then you know..!!"

myself: "hmmm..with my HRF, my magic capsule and this turbo booster, i just might turn into an 18 year old...with a lean, mean machine of a body some more.................eh, hullo..where u go ah??"


.... i suddenly choked on my toothpaste and snapped out of my stupor as the acrid smell from the haze outside hit my nose....wah, like that also can. maybe i'm just working too hard, eating too little, sleeping not enough...and dreaming too much............hahahaha

wooiii.. i can't see leh..

..was reading the newspaper around 9pm last night and then suddenly everything went dark..!! no i did not go blind from excessive...whatever, but TNB just decided to trip again, for the second time in 3 months...!! and where i live, it will usually take them hours before the electricity would come back on. i learned that the hard way the last time, sweating like a naked pig waiting, and waiting and hoping the air-con would suddenly come back on..

so last night, i got smart. i immediately packed my clothing for today and checked myself into a nearby hotel..hehe..quite a decent one i must say, and at only rm80, it was quite value for money. small room with attached shower and toilet but only glass wall...wah, damn kinky i tell you...you can actually watch TV and at the same time see your friend shitting on the toilet bowl..haha!!..nvm, i was alone....then i noticed there was this white thingy (contraption..) that looks like a cctv on the ceiling..hmm..normally they come with clear covers but this one was painted white...wah..this hotel must be really designed for something more than just sleeping...oh dear...i showered and sat on the toilet in full view of the cctv earlier...!!..nvm, i just might become famous when my VCD hits the pasar malam stalls..haha

anyway, i actually got a decent night's sleep...there were no strangers knocking on my door in the middle of the night and this morning i got up early to check on my house. electricity was back on already and my room was freezing cold from the air-con !! fed mr momo his food. bet mr momo was all scared staying in the darkness by himself last night coz he was meow-meowing away noisily when he heard me opening the door this morning...

i'm gonna be sending TNB my hotel bills if they keep tripping like this..!!

Oh no...

...my resolve seems to be getting weaker and weaker. have been spending the past two days salivating over masak-masak.blogspot.com's beautiful beautiful pictures of all kinds of foods..my goodness, how does one (or is it two..) person eat and eat and eat her way through so much wonderful grubs, every month..or is it everyday of the month..?? and i'm amazed at how she can find out about all these eateries...places that i never knew had such tempting delights..

ok, that's it..once my diet session is over, i shall be visiting every little outlet described in her blog since april 2005..!! that should keep me busy eating for the next 4 years..and if she continues blogging about food...i'm gonna be in deep shit...literally..hehe

splatter..splatter...!!

..dunno what i drank yesterday but had the most severe tummy cramps and then a sudden "miscarriage"...eeeeewwwww..gross i know..luckily i was already at home when it happened..must have been the protein seaweed concoction i blended..haha. shall just stick to protein with cereal and milk mix. no more extra ingredients !! well...the great part about having a big purge is that you get instant weight loss..hehe

everybody's trying to weaken my resolve, tempting me with absolutely tasty looking foods. the nasi lemak lady is giving me that come hither look. mom's bringing her meals on wheels again today, there's a new fried chicken outlet nearby that just opened so very co-incidentally yesterday, and the chicken rice fella has been asking my staff about my "disappearance"..BUT i shall be strong. i shall refrain from all temptations to gorge myself with those absolutely tasty but icky carbs and fats..i shall be steadfast..still got 2 months and 27 days only mah...

die oredi..die oredi..

..there goes my diet program..!!
..just came a cross a small advert in the Sun paper today..

POPEYE's Fried Chicken is back in town !!!! (but i promise myself a strict liquid diet for 3 months...!!)

.. i remember a few years back, there was one Popeye outlet at the sunway pyramid but that didn't last. probably because it was located in some weird out corner at the back of the mall section, inside some video arcade lot, and nobody knew much about it. i used to enjoy going there for the fried chicken. and i remember long time ago when i was working in Lousiana, popeye's was my and everybody else's staple diet. everyday was fried chicken day for me..and i remember it was different. the taste was rather unique. the biscuits and the cajun dirty rice were fantastic..hopefully, they have these too at this new outlet here..

got 2 months and 28 days left...and counting..and here's hoping i wont be disappointed..!!

Popeye's Louisiana Kitchen is at No 20, Jalan Tun Mohd Fuad 1, Taman Tun Dr Ismail. Opens daily from 10:30am to 11:00pm

p/s: pic above taken off http://kampungboycitygal.com pic on the right taken from http://masak-masak.blogspot.com

hot hot hot ah...

i feel so heaty these past few days...hmmm..must be the HRF and magic pill burning away all my fat...my weight stabilising..need to push harder at the gym tonite, aiming for 75kg !

..wah, so proud of meself lately..

anyway, the terminator movie was so so only..a lot of machines fighting the humans..tonite i shall be fighting the gym machines..haha. And... for lunch today, i had HRF blended with extra2 crispy korean seaweed (which wasnt crispy anymore after that...) and malt syrup..tasty tasty..

oh ya..this morning when i got out to go to work, it was so hazy i thought,..wah liao eh, is it autumn or winter oredi ah? except the air was so acridly smelly and the humidity stuck onto me and hitched a ride to my office..basket..these people just like to burn burn burn. i hope the fire they started burn their backsides too along with everything and anything precious to them..oops i just made a curse..


can we all just please....?

okie..so far

did my work-out last nite...tried to push myself a little bit more than usual..felt the aches and tautness from the earlier sessions but pushed on anyway..felt kinda good after that. woke up this morning with a bit more definition to my upper frame..i thought i lost 1/2 kg over-nite..hmmmm...incredible..

still keeping to the liquid diet and the magic capsule..hehehe..so far so good..

gonna go watch the terminator salvation tonite..so no gym work-outs. need the inspiration you see, to keep me on this dieting-exercise routine for a long time. maybe in 3 months, i just might look like the terminator..hahaha

yummy liquid...

yum..yum..

just started on Horley's Ripped Factors (100% whey protein isolate plus) chocolate flavored drink on the first day of my liquid diet (blended 3 scoops of the powder with low-fat milk and half a cup of Post's Blueberry cereal and it was yummy..should have added ice, then i would have had an ice blended power drink....haha). no more solids for me, no more meats, no more icky carbs and fats...i'm just gonna be on a purely liquid diet for the next 3 months...

this HRF is supposedly for...

• People engaged in regular resistance training wanting to maximise fat loss to reveal muscle definition
• Anyone wanting an advanced protein crammed with fat-loss factors to assist with a weight management program
• Meal replacement or post work-out recovery

let's see if tonite i turn into mighty mouse at the gym..whooeeee.........!!


so now, combined with my magic capsule, a brand new me is gonna emerge in 3 months...hehehehe

i got eaten ah..

..by the jackpot machine !!

guess, lady-luck was not with me yesterday as i fought and struggled with my mega fortune machine. a lot of swearing, pleading, cajoling and finally decided to give it a tight kick and walked off....haha and i didn't see no happy faces among the crowd. everyone looked so pissed !!

spent a total of 5 hours at the casino and finally decided to hit the sack at about 4am and whaddaya know, the next room was occupied by this couple with like 20 irritating kids and the noise making started at 8am, so i had like 4 hours sleep, maybe less coz i was still dreaming of megafortune..damn.

looks like i got to earn money the old fashioned way...work my arse off !!!

hello megafortune...

here i come ah...!!

here's looking at hitting the jackpot tonite..kaching..kaching..kaching..hehehe

no lah..actually, i'm just gonna go up there for the fresh air and the cool temperature, sit at starbucks and drink a latte, watch the babes float by..for a few minutes lor, then must quickly quickly hit the casino and hug my jackpot machine tight2..haha

i'm getting a wee bit...

...suspicious.

yesterday i went to the gym again (2 days in a row ok..?!!) and i did my thread-mill thingy but just for fun i pushed up the speed to double my normal and i wasn't pooped !! i managed to complete my routine without panting like a dog..

then i went to the abs-crunchers and the pecs-toners and added a few more reps to my usual routine and again i wasn't pooped...and last night i slept late coz i was watching some stupid movie but still i woke up fresh..hmmm

oh..oh..i'm getting really suspicious of those magic capsules...but man, i feel damn good..hehehe
okok..have to be a bit honest..my abs hurt a little bit this morning from the crunches but otherwise i feel good...

oh..oh..placenta..?

omg..omg..

suddenly i feel lighter? younger? healthier? hmm..only after one capsule yesterday, and even after a vigorous work-out at the gym last night and despite having stayed a couch potato for the last 2 months, i did not wake up with any muscle aches or pains..in fact, i woke up less tired than usual..so i happily swallowed the second capsule this morning..

and i dunno if i'm just psychologically in wonderland coz i feel my tummy not so big this morning and my weight actually went down by 1kg...maybe my scale machine koyak oredi..but nvm, i do feel good..

oh dear..when i finish that bottle by the end of the month, just might have to change my name to benjamin button..hehehehe

(i did one quick google search & i found that i can get 200 capsules for AUSD 45 !!! - must get someone to buy and send back to me...hehehehe)

so geram !!!

why do people steal?
this morning i came to work to find myself in complete darkness
because some thieves decided to break open the Big TNB sub-relay station and take away all the fuses..!! last time, they would steal the water meters..yes, just cut them right off the pipes and let the water spew like fountains everywhere..we used to see our buildings suddenly become water-parks !!

luckily the TNB people were very fast..
before i could call them, they already appeared right in front of my face..wah !!
really cermelang, terbilang & gemilang..or is it
cekap, bersih & amanah..?? but definitely for sure, the thieves did not adopt the 1Malaysia concept coz only our office block kena..the other blocks were spared..
and of coz everyone was there sibuk2 saying..please fix my fuse first, please, please..
no, mine mine, no mine please, my business very important one you know...no no no, mine lagi extremely important..
luckily not too many women around, otherwise, all the claws will come out..then i can see the real wolverines in action !!

but back to the question..why do people steal?
maybe their mother never taught them never to take other people's things..
that no matter how poor you are, you should never steal..
or maybe they just need to feed the kids..?
or they are just not scared of God punishing them, making them hand-less in the hereafter?
or maybe there is just a very very lucrative market for such parts..?? hmm...

oh...boy...

been working 12/7 for the past 2+ years
seriously need someone really good to replace me..
(that's because i am that good you see...)
so i can go on a long holiday some where and not
rush up and down genting in a day..

this coming saturday is another public holiday
and i'm gonna be rushing up and down genting again
adui..

oh placenta..

just bought me this box of expensive sheep placenta
with its endless youthful promises..not just an iota
so, in the very near future..
you just might see me a new picture..
with everyone all going gagaga

when i end up looking like this..hahaha

oh girl..

as i glance through your facebook..
i so so recognise that look..
that smile on your face that made me feel so good..
i remember too, you stealing glances at me among the books..

i already knew from the start..
you were sure to seriously break my heart
yet, i let you and i play our parts..
my dear, how did we ever drift apart..?

was it you? or was it just me?
and as i think back on all those memories
was i so so broken that i just refused
to accept that you were just confused..?

but now, after all these years..
you have finally overcome all your fears
and life has been so great for you since then
you seem to live your life so happily now, my friend

oh girl...if only you knew
just how much i miss and remember you..
and now in your blissful life
that someone lying next to you
must be truly blessed to have you as his wife..